Monday, February 11, 2008
How to Have a Great Monday Morning
Dear Patient: This prescription takes approximately thirty minutes.
Awake at 6 a.m. and prepare hot chai with vanilla soy milk and one packet of Splenda. Eat a low-fact (or, low fat --- aren't typos funny sometimes?) cinnamon graham cracker while waiting for chai to cool. Take the chai to your home office or wherever the computer is stashed. Play an online game, preferably Scrabble so you can get some words in your head first thing:
Read a passage or two from J.D. Salinger's "Seymour: An Introduction."
Oh, you want an example:
"It seems to me indisputably true that a good many people, the wide world over, of varying ages, cultures, natural endowments, respond with a special impetus, a zing, even, in some cases, to artists and poets who as well as having a reputation for producing great or fine art have something garishly Wrong with them as persons: a spectacular flaw in character or citizenship, a construably romantic affliction or addiction --- extreme self-centeredness, marital infidelity, stone-deafness, stone-blindness, a terrible thirst, a mortally bad cough, a soft spot for prostitutes, a partiality for grand-scale adultery or incest, a certified or uncertified weakness for opium or sodomy, and so on, God have mercy on the lonely bastards."
(Thus, Amy Winehouse takes the Grammies. And I love Amy Winehouse.)
Answer a few e-mails and write a few shiny new unsolicited ones.
Finally, for exactly three minutes, sit in front of a mirror with a 32 fl oz bottle of Miracle Bubbles, and blow bubbles at yourself.
Happy Monday, Everybody!